Sunday, July 4, 2010

Single Again

I divorced over twenty years ago. Time seems to go by so fast! I was twenty eight, and I'm fifty now. Did I ever imagine myself being single all these year? No. Have there been times when I wondered, "What is wrong with me?" and "Why doesn't anyone want to love me?" Yes. I wondered that many times before.

Did I long to be loved and have someone bring me flowers for Valentine's Day or dance with me at all the weddings I've attended? Sure. Did I ever spend lonely evenings alone on the couch wishing I had someone to hold me and share the popcorn bowl? Yes, I did.

It's not easy being single in a world that has changed so much. I have seen dating rules change and ways of meeting someone go beyond what my grandparents would ever believe! But am I happy, you may ask? Yes!

I can be happy and lonely, sad and still full of joy. The emotions that I feel as a single person are the same that I felt as a married person. God has spoken to me, and He has made me realized that He allowed me to be single, not to sadden me, make me envy others or to punish me. In fact, He wanted to bless me.

Through the years as a single person, married couples have gravitated towards me to ask for advice. I have seen and heard just about everything. I have seen women give up dreams, family and friends to follow a man. I have seen women take abuse - physically and mentally - just to keep the feeling of "being loved." I have listened to stories of how marriages have turned cold and distant, harming the family unit. I am able to listen to couples in need without judgment. I'm glad I can be of service to those struggling marriages, and hopefully I can point them to God.

Yet, I still get lonely on Friday nights when I'm home alone. That is normal. We all want to be loved. Is finding a partner the top priority in my life? No. If you're a man, a woman does not make you a whole person. If you're a woman, a man does not make you a whole person. God does. If there was anyone I needed all these years, it was God. I have been a Christian most my life; but during those single years, I wish I would have made Him my sole purpose. When we begin to live life for God, He will bless us with whatever we need to compliment our life.

~ Bernice Rubio

3 comments:

  1. Bernice! Thank you for your amazing and honest words for the ST Publication!

    You are such a blessing to us! Thank you for offering your talents to be used by God!

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  2. Hi Bernice! Beautiful words revealing restoration in the midst of pain...O how our God is so awesome! Thank you for sharing 'your story' and God's testimony of faithfulness!

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  3. Just read your piece on Sanctified Together - what a fantastic testimony. Thank you so much. I'm inspired by your dedication to God regardless of circumstances. He is glorified by what you've shared. I'll be following your blog now :)

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